I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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