what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
