watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize