I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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