there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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