Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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