I will die if light touches me.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
