Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
