I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
