Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
