4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
