dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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