I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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