last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
