Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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