Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
