The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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