so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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