Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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