Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
