i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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