when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
