It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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