if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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