For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
