and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
