Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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