Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
