just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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