i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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