How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize