She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
