idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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