I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
