So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
