i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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