Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize