Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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