Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
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