If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Randomize