Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize