Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
