Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
BRING THE BAGELS
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
