they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
