You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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