I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
