just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Randomize
