What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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