You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
