"it" just moved
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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