yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Rumble strips road head = magical
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
