No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize