I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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