Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
she told me i tasted like america
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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