reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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