im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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