...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
