Texts From Last Night

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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.

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  (339): I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion. http://tfl.nu/m237
  Replies (93) Good night (5182) Bad night (1962) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.

  (917): View more from New York City

  Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.

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  (917): I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads. (917): Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful. http://tfl.nu/kyyh
  Replies (23) Good night (7245) Bad night (568)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.

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  (206): he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him. http://tfl.nu/ufis
  Replies (22) Good night (594) Bad night (4241) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.

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  (651): Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real. http://tfl.nu/xrrz
  Replies (12) Good night (772) Bad night (4121) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.

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  (516): shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously. http://tfl.nu/hrom
  Replies (11) Good night (1074) Bad night (3101) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.

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  (715): I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting. http://tfl.nu/jzvn
  Replies (26) Good night (5087) Bad night (1117) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair

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  (630): the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair http://tfl.nu/rgwc
  Replies (17) Good night (1027) Bad night (4378) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.

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  (919): I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep. http://tfl.nu/o9nw
  Replies (12) Good night (2307) Bad night (1249)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home

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  (360): well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home http://tfl.nu/1sb0
  Replies (8) Good night (2642) Bad night (515) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.

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  (479): It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule. http://tfl.nu/n9xy
  Replies (5) Good night (388) Bad night (1133) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.

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  (310): Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes. http://tfl.nu/zngo
  Replies (2) Good night (1195) Bad night (354) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.

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  (501): The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game. http://tfl.nu/4bmh
  Replies (2) Good night (923) Bad night (587) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone

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  (828): I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone http://tfl.nu/fll1
  Replies (1) Good night (273) Bad night (823)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans

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  (218): I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans http://tfl.nu/y0vw
  Replies (1) Good night (721) Bad night (183) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture

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  (425): But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture http://tfl.nu/bm5g
  Replies (1) Good night (275) Bad night (88) Order T-Shirt

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