By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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