Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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