loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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