Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just had sex on a roof
I still have a little drunk in my system
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
i think im in europe. pls send help
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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