Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
