You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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