no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You did what with his pubic hair?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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