2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
